Friday, August 20, 2010

Episode 56: People Come From Michigan, in Cars

The other day we teetered perilously on the edge of the question with our four-year-old daughter. Wait, I mean The Question. You know, the dreaded question about the subject we obviously understand, what with the 3-foot tall evidence standing there waiting for some sort of answer. I thought we had just fallen off the edge when she asked, “Why do all parents have to have parents?”
I responded, “Well, how else would we get here?”

“We have a car.”

Now, I should have just left it at that, having so easily dodged the dreaded Where-do-babies-come-from bullet, but the communicator in me took over and I had to clarify what I was saying because I felt a disconnect. It was a happy accident that this turned out to be a very effective tactic for avoiding actually having to talk about the real question in question.

“No, I mean where would people come from?”


Well, how could I argue with that? Lots of people do actually come from Michigan. Tim Allen, Gillian Anderson, Lucille Ball, Bob Bell (a.k.a. Bozo the Clown), Rupert (of Survivor fame), Sonny Bono, Alice Cooper, Francis Ford Coppola, George Custer, Jeff Daniels, Eminem, Bob Eubanks, Gerald Ford, Henry Ford, Aretha Franklin, Jimmy Hoffa, Magic Johnson, James Earl Jones, Casey Kasem, Kid Rock, Charles Lindbergh, Malcolm X, Tim Meadows, Michael, Moore, John Locke (not the philosopher, the guy who played John Locke in Lost, which ended very badly if you ask me, but I suggest you do not ask me because I will very likely rant for a very long time about how badly it ended after such a good run), Larry Page (one of the founders of Google), Rosa Parks, Smokey Robinson Jr, Diana Ross, Steven Seagal, and lots of other people come from Michigan. Wow, that got a little crazy, but it is actually pretty interesting to see all the famous people who came from Michigan. Who knew? A few people come from Alaska too, but you wouldn’t know any of them.

I don’t come from Michigan, so I am not sure where she came up with that, but I am going to stick with it when she revisits this topic at some other point in her life. I think we all need to stick together on this though, because I cannot have other people telling her something different. So, if anyone asks you where babies come from, just say Michigan. You won’t be lying. I just gave you a list of people who were, I assume, babies at one time that did in fact come from Michigan. Also, tell her she is not even allowed to think about going anywhere near Michigan until she is married…and 35. I am working on my “you are very likely to die a horrible death if you even know how to get to Michigan” look so I can use it on any guy she meets between now and then.

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