Monday, November 8, 2010

Episode 54: I Just Saved $45.02

That’s right, I just saved $45.02! How, how could you too save $45.02? I am sure that question is picking at your brain like the woodpecker that insists on terrorizing a certain corner of my house with his rat-tat-tat-tatting all the time. Well, it is thanks to another brilliant mushy-brained kook strategy, of course.

You see, I had to spend $50 (on $95.02 worth of merchandise it would seem) in order to save that $45.02, but really that’s like I only spent about $5 right, what with my savings? Math has never been my strong suit, so I am a little fuzzy on that part. In any case, the lady manning the register (Now that’s an interesting complication to our fair language isn’t it? I guess she would have to be “womanning” the register. I guess to be politically correct she would have to “person” the register. I would have used “people,” but it would be tiny people indeed who could “people” a cash register. Maybe that is exactly how cash registers really work. Sure there is all this talk about computers and circuit boards and nanotechnology and all that, but what if all that stuff is really run by scads of tiny people? Just something to ponder, along with the thought that our language only makes sense until you try to use it.) was very happy to make sure I knew how much money I saved by spending money at that store.

What a great way to get people to save their money. How exciting! It makes me feel very fiscally responsible. I am going to try to save lots more money now that I know how to do it. In no time at all I am sure I can save up enough money to buy that motorcycle. All I have to do is buy more stuff on sale. That Dave Ramsey guy and all his “don’t buy that” attitude, what does he know? I have the receipts to prove how much money I saved…all I have to do now is find out where they are keeping it. I better keep all my receipts so I have documentation about my balance. I am sure they are honest, but one can never be too careful.

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